Archive for July, 2008
I used to think that I am invincible when I was young and that time is on my side. However, as the years go by, I begin to feel my time is running shorter and perhaps it’s because of that which spurred me to create my manga and do what I love now rather than wait till the “time is right”.
But, somehow that belief didn’t cross over to the thought that my loved ones will not always be there to support me and celebrate my happiness with me. July is suppose to be one of my happiest months this year. Kasumi vol.1 is finally going to be released and my dream of being a manga writer will be fulfilled.
However, on July 11, 2008 at 10am, my dad suddenly passed away. To say it was a huge shock was an understatement. His death rocked the core in me and left me to slowly pick up the pieces. He was my inspiration, my mentor and I was his “daddy little girl”. Of everyone in the family, we were the most alike, from the way we look, to what we like to eat, our personality to our positive outlook in life. It really didn’t help that I couldn’t be there with him when we heard of his emergency admittance 2 weeks ago. We are countries apart and I couldn’t leave because of my late pregnancy.
Everyone tells me I need to be strong, at least for my baby. I’m trying my best and putting aside my grief in a little box in my heart. Part of me realize that this is the reality but another part of me is still living in denial. How can a man so full of life, positive energy and ambition, surrounded by so many who love him, be struck by such tragedy? It doesn’t make sense, it didn’t seem fair. He was so young, there’s so much he wanted to do. He was going to be a grandfather for the first time.
But, time waits for no man and looking back, there was so much I would have said and done if I had known but it’s too late now. I’ve been looking at the pictures that we’ve taken and the fond memories we had together. I found the most beautiful picture of him that we took during our last family vacation in Europe. He was smiling happily, with so much joy, in front of the Lucene Lion in Switzerland. Maybe it was fate telling us something…a hint that I should have picked up but didn’t realize till now…The image of the dying lion, a symbol of the strength and pride of the soldiers who fought bravely all the way against all odds and adversity. In many ways, he was just like the big, generous lion who persevered and lived his life to the fullest.
I need to be strong and life will continue on. It will take a while for me to overcome this but I will because I know he’s watching us from above and will want us to keep smiling and live our lives to the fullest. You made me who I am today and I’ll forever cherish our memories together. I miss you Pa and I will always love you.No comments